[The truth is that what Steve does and says is hardly ever too much. The kid gloves are always on because Steve is too damn scared to mess things up, so it makes it really easy on Bucky to not feel overwhelmed in any capacity, even if Steve manages to find a sore spot. But it’s much easier to leave that between them so he can readily have distance when he needs it instead of pointing out the truth. He tells himself it’s just a little, white lie, a casual omission and nothing more. Yet the guilt lingers.
He throws Steve a smile in response to the groan, knowing it was coming and ready to counter it with another witty remark to further drive the point in that he can still be this Bucky, the old one that enjoyed life endlessly regardless of the burden.
The words get caught in his throat, and he looks away awkwardly when nothing comes out. It's another couple of moments before he can find something to say again.]
This is okay, right? [He’s asking himself as much as he’s asking Steve. There’s oceans between them, and sometimes it’s nice to just remember what they were instead of what they are. He’s changed too much, and he doesn’t want that fact to always be at the forefront of Steve’s mind. That’s not what Steve deserves, and Steve already deserves so much better.] Easier this way.
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He throws Steve a smile in response to the groan, knowing it was coming and ready to counter it with another witty remark to further drive the point in that he can still be this Bucky, the old one that enjoyed life endlessly regardless of the burden.
The words get caught in his throat, and he looks away awkwardly when nothing comes out. It's another couple of moments before he can find something to say again.]
This is okay, right? [He’s asking himself as much as he’s asking Steve. There’s oceans between them, and sometimes it’s nice to just remember what they were instead of what they are. He’s changed too much, and he doesn’t want that fact to always be at the forefront of Steve’s mind. That’s not what Steve deserves, and Steve already deserves so much better.] Easier this way.