Wouldn’t that be the perfect reason to leave it as it is though? And to take lots of photos for um research? And then also send them to me because you're a pal?
Have a long day? Outside of going through Jack’s streaming history, I mean. And I do mind. Please don’t call me Jimmy. Or Jim. Or any other variation of Jim with something else.
... I suppose you have a point. How about pictures first, rewriting second? Both blackmail and upsetting Jack, a win/win.
Well, no, not really but my apartment's too close to the riots so I decided to keep Jack some company instead. He's terribly boring though and won't let me drink all his booze so, I'm caught between a nap or bothering you. You won out.
Excellent. He should’ve be more careful anyway, so it’s his own fault.
I can’t even imagine what a guy like that does in his free time, though I guess I know about the cartoon ponies now. Is he just leaving you to your own devices at his place? Sounds like you could do more than just mess with his streaming history.
You got anything more dignified in your nickname database?
[ And as promised, Bucky is getting a few pictures sent to him of Jack's streaming history. It's very, very, very embarrassing. ]
He's usually at work or sitting on his computer and being boring or both, at once. It's so boring I want to spit. I keep dreaming of the day I can drag Jack into a bar brawl.
He does. I promised not to sell his stuff again and I've kept my word since! So, here I am. I do eat his food though.
There is admittedly not a lot to go with James. Uh... Barney? Barnbarn? Barnzo the clown.
[And these photos are immediately backed up to James’ personal drive. He doesn’t know when he’ll really need them, but the point is that he has them now, and there’s nothing Jack can do about it.]
I think that sometimes myself. About the brawl. He’d either be really good at kicking ass or really bad. And I want to find out which it is.
You could put all his toilet rolls in backward. Empty all his liquid soaps. Switch the lids for the salt and pepper, if he has little shakers. Switch the bottles for his shampoo and conditioner. Steam up the bathroom and write stuff on his mirror.
My money's on the second. Hides behind a gun, no idea how to use his fist. Wah, wah, big baby about it.
See, now I'm going to do all these things and when Jack is like "who did all these things", I will shrug and say "that sounds like something James would do and definitely not me, Hawke, who would never do such a thing".
These are all BORING suggestions. Jaybird might work. Do you want to by my little Jaybird, James?
Yeah, I definitely don’t count on him throwing any decent punches, that’s for sure. Though, for that matter, I guess if anyone’s going to get away with shooting anyone in a bar, it’d probably be him.
What, after all that help, you’re going to try pinning it on me? Good luck with that. I’ve never been to his place or pranked him yet. But feel free to record that conversation for me so I can hear how you try to get out of it when he doesn’t believe you.
I’m getting the feeling that you don’t know what that implies... Either way, no. I don’t want to be anyone’s jaybird. What about Jas/Jaz? JB? Barnacle?
Oh, yeah. He’d immediately cower after that. No question.
Fine. That's when you bring out a box of cigarettes and a beer you stashed away for exactly this situation. Ask him if it’s worth getting mad over it, hint at the fact that it's not. He’ll get over it. He likes getting his jimmies rustled over nothing, but get him a cigarette and a beer, and he’ll be back to his usual grumpy self in no time.
And that’s not what it means. Me GIVING you Barnacle and letting you use it on the other hand means that you’re my bestest of best friends in the history of bestery. So. Yep. There you go.
I’m wounded. I’ve bought so many rounds for you. Do they not count toward thine merits of friendship? Is it because I only shared my bar pizza with you that one time instead of getting you your own?
Damn, shoulda known that was a deal breaker. Well, shoot, I’ll buy you all the pizzas you want next time. Do you have it in you to forgive a guy like me for fucking up? I won’t do it again. Promise.
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lefthandfree) wrote2017-02-09 10:44 pm
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Have a long day? Outside of going through Jack’s streaming history, I mean. And I do mind. Please don’t call me Jimmy. Or Jim. Or any other variation of Jim with something else.
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Well, no, not really but my apartment's too close to the riots so I decided to keep Jack some company instead. He's terribly boring though and won't let me drink all his booze so, I'm caught between a nap or bothering you. You won out.
What about Jammy?
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I can’t even imagine what a guy like that does in his free time, though I guess I know about the cartoon ponies now. Is he just leaving you to your own devices at his place? Sounds like you could do more than just mess with his streaming history.
You got anything more dignified in your nickname database?
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[ And as promised, Bucky is getting a few pictures sent to him of Jack's streaming history. It's very, very, very embarrassing. ]
He's usually at work or sitting on his computer and being boring or both, at once. It's so boring I want to spit. I keep dreaming of the day I can drag Jack into a bar brawl.
He does. I promised not to sell his stuff again and I've kept my word since! So, here I am. I do eat his food though.
There is admittedly not a lot to go with James. Uh... Barney? Barnbarn? Barnzo the clown.
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I think that sometimes myself. About the brawl. He’d either be really good at kicking ass or really bad. And I want to find out which it is.
You could put all his toilet rolls in backward. Empty all his liquid soaps. Switch the lids for the salt and pepper, if he has little shakers. Switch the bottles for his shampoo and conditioner. Steam up the bathroom and write stuff on his mirror.
Jay? Jamie? Or even just. James.
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My money's on the second. Hides behind a gun, no idea how to use his fist. Wah, wah, big baby about it.
See, now I'm going to do all these things and when Jack is like "who did all these things", I will shrug and say "that sounds like something James would do and definitely not me, Hawke, who would never do such a thing".
These are all BORING suggestions. Jaybird might work. Do you want to by my little Jaybird, James?
[ Why do you make things so weird, Hawke. ]
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What, after all that help, you’re going to try pinning it on me? Good luck with that. I’ve never been to his place or pranked him yet. But feel free to record that conversation for me so I can hear how you try to get out of it when he doesn’t believe you.
I’m getting the feeling that you don’t know what that implies... Either way, no. I don’t want to be anyone’s jaybird. What about Jas/Jaz? JB? Barnacle?
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Well, now what kind of friendship is this? You're just going to throw me to the wolves like that? I feel blindsided, truly.
Doesn't it mean that you're my bestest of best friends in the history of bestery? That's what it feels like.
ALSO YOU SAID BARNACLE YOURSELF, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. Barnacle it is!
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Fine. That's when you bring out a box of cigarettes and a beer you stashed away for exactly this situation. Ask him if it’s worth getting mad over it, hint at the fact that it's not. He’ll get over it. He likes getting his jimmies rustled over nothing, but get him a cigarette and a beer, and he’ll be back to his usual grumpy self in no time.
And that’s not what it means. Me GIVING you Barnacle and letting you use it on the other hand means that you’re my bestest of best friends in the history of bestery. So. Yep. There you go.
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Well. That's coming on pretty strong there, Barnacle! Take a girl out to dinner first before you declare best friendship.
[ Hawke, you did it first. ]
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I’m wounded. I’ve bought so many rounds for you. Do they not count toward thine merits of friendship? Is it because I only shared my bar pizza with you that one time instead of getting you your own?
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God. Imagine a pizza tree.
Fuck. Now I just really want some pizza.
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And I’m ordering two pizzas.
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[ She is definitely showing up you can count on that, Bucky. ]